The Heart of a Competitor

By | goals, life, motivation | No Comments

fsu starI love my sport. Every day that I am in the gym, on the course, or traveling to my next event is a good day. I live for the moments on the course when I visualize the perfect shot and then execute it perfectly in the heat of the battle. I have trained my whole life to be where I am right now. I have relished competition in every facet of my life for as long as I can remember and golf has never been an exception. I am competitive and stubborn to a fault. If I do not win, I’ll stay and work until I know how to succeed next time.

Possessing this drive and determination does not mean that it is singularly focused on golf. Academic achievements have to be pursued. Every scrap of energy and emotion must be poured into relationships. Nothing in life seems to be safe from my insatiable quest to give it my all. Unless you ask my mother, and she will cheekily inform you that it does not pertain to the organization level in my bedroom.

As a woman, a lot is asked of you. Women and girls have to wear many hats; their lives are in a constant state of dichotomy. Nurture a child and kill in the boardroom. Prioritize your family and chase your dreams. Be kind and thoughtful but be ruthless when seeking victory on the course.

To be a female athlete, you have to be all of it. To be a female professional athlete, you have to be all of it and more.

Somehow you have to be brave enough to believe in yourself. Little girls cannot lose that self-assurance that all toddlers have. They have to be strong enough to think that they can have their cake and eat it too. If they don’t have the gumption to try, they will never figure out that everyone else is wrong.

Life is full of a cascade of choices. Mine have led me to this moment. I am caught somewhere between 20 and 30, trying to balance all of my decisions and observing all of you reconciling yours.

Being more is hard. I’d be lying if I said otherwise.

Every day I challenge myself to be more than what I was the day before: lift more weight, run one more step, make one more putt, hit one more fairway. I challenge myself to be a better daughter, sister, fiancé, friend and competitor. Sometimes I fail, and that’s okay.

Social norms and constructs and other people’s choices have made me feel like I’ve gotten lost at times. I’ve even caught myself feeling guilty for daring to dream big enough to chase my dreams. I hope that you never will feel that. I’m on my own journey and I have my own timeline. I am selfish enough and brave enough to do everything I can to give myself my own kind of fairytale ending. My brain and my heart won’t let me be anything less than everything I’m capable of.

Professional Status

By | goals, LPGA | 7 Comments

IMG_0311After four amazing years of collegiate golf at Florida State, I have graduated with a degree in Finance and now I get to start the next chapter in my life. This week, I have a big announcement for all of you. I will be declaring my status change to a professional golfer!

When I was in fourth grade, I began to tell anyone who would listen that I was going to be a professional athlete and that one day I would be competing with the women on the LPGA. It is interesting to note the way my dream has been received as I have gotten older, and closer to my goals. When I first began to dream, my teachers smiled at me and encouraged me; family told me how hard I would have to work and that I could do it. However, at some point in high school, people began to tell me that golf was not a career plan. I needed to study and to have plans outside of sports. So I appeased them. I became valedictorian of my high school, and I dreamt up some ideas of corporate jobs. In college, after battling through an injury, I was invigorated. Golf truly was almost taken from me and that made me want it all the more. I did realize, however, that my body was not invincible, so I took an internship to prepare me for the corporate world just in case. I never lost sight of my real dream or the desire to pursue it. I have endured the laughs and smirks from my peers and professors, from advisors and administrators, and even doubt from some of my family. Through it all, I knew this was my plan, this was my dream.

I will be making my professional debut on two mini-tour events that are a warm-up series for Q School in Palm Springs, California. Stage One of Q School is a four round event the first week of August in Rancho Mirage, California.

To be here in this moment is indescribable. I have trained, practiced and sacrificed since the moment that small, fourth grade version of myself decided that this was my dream. Now, I have the incredible opportunity to breathe it in and live it. I still have a lot of work to do and many small goals to accomplish in order to join ranks with the women on T.V. every week, but as of this week I can say that I am a professional athlete. And somewhere inside me, that fourth grader is celebrating.

Why I Play Golf

By | goals, life, motivation | One Comment
Julie Inkster

When posing for the picture, Julie picked up the trophy and threw it at me and said, “Here, practice winning!”

Last fall, Julie Inkster spoke at the Schooner Classic in Norman, Oklahoma. While this was an over-the-top, amazing event for a myriad of reasons, hearing a role model of mine speak, then talking with her and getting a quick picture, was icing on the cake.

Julie Inkster is so inspiring to me because of everything she fits into her life. She is a mother, a wife, and a world-class golfer with effortless congeniality and poise. Needless to say, I was pretty excited to hear her speak. However, what she said only made me admire her more; “Golf is what I do; Golf is not who I am. Golf should never define you.”

What a powerful statement that truly is when you take a moment to consider it. “Golf is what I do; Golf is not who I am.” Sometimes it is hard to remember that golf is not a part of and should not be a part of your personal definition of self. I cannot count the number of times I have been introduced to my parents’ friends and co-workers and the first thing they respond with is, “Oh, you’re the one who plays golf?” Or how many times a professor or peer on campus only remembers me as “the golfer.” Now while I spend a copious amount of my time playing golf, it can be easy to start to define myself with it. What an unhappy mistake that can be. Last spring I found myself walking off the course after multiple bad rounds of qualifying, miserable and lost. I felt like my life was sideways and I was so unhappy with everything in my life, because of how I was playing. With the help of my amazing family, boyfriend and swing coach, I was able to realize my mistakes.

One night after crying because I had played badly, my boyfriend, Tyler, looked at me and asked me a tide-changing question, “If golf makes you so upset, then why don’t quit, Alex? I know deep-down you love it, but you aren’t acting like it. Stop letting a few bad days take away something you love.” What a revelation from my non-golf playing boyfriend. I was holding on to the results of my rounds like they defined me and I was using that lens to view the rest of my life through.

All these moments made me own and live an important truth; I am more than just a golfer. I have a wonderful family, a boyfriend who loves me- no matter what score I shoot, the best teammates and great friends. I love to spend time with all of them, I love to give back to my community and I love to learn. I play golf because I love it. Practice is where I find my quiet peace and where I do all my best thinking. Everything makes more sense when I can relax, think and hit some golf balls on the range. I play golf because it is fun and I hope that I never lose sight of that again.

New Year, New Semester

By | goals, teammates | One Comment


To start this new year off, I decided to launch my website and with it, this blog. I am currently on the golf team at Florida State University and I am a junior. My goal is to turn professional after I graduate and in the meantime, I will blog about my journey.

The best part about coming back from break was seeing my team for the first time in a month! Everyone was literally scattered around the globe; Laure was in France, Carlton was here in Tallahassee, Anna was in Columbia, Kayla was in Pensacola, Matilda was in Finland, Olivia was in Norway and Sherrill was in South Florida. I am happy to report that each and every one of us had a fantastic and rejuvenating winter break. We all hope to follow the footsteps of our football team, which is entirely possible as we are hosting Regionals at our home course. Having a home course advantage will be nice, but we still have a lot of work to put in until then. When we start practice on the 13th, we will have about four months to prepare, improve and plan. Personally, I will be grooving some swing changes and working on my short game. Practicing up and downs is never wasted time.

Beyond golf, I have some interesting finance courses this semester (Investments and Short Term Financial Management) and plenty of community service in mind. One of my favorite things to do in my spare time is to give back. Almost every week you can find me at the Tallahassee Miracle League, playing with the handicapped children in the area.

Please feel free to follow me on Twitter and Instagram (@AlexMilanGolf) and offer suggestions on future blog content. And look for the first edition of Technique Tip Tuesday written by my swing coach Nick Panebianco to be up soon!